It is so easy to say that you’ll turn away someone when they come calling – until it happens. My daughter’s friend has issues. She is a walking disaster in many ways.
She was a teacher until persuaded by her husband to go into business together in a restaurant. He had both restaurant experience and business experience so it wasn’t an unreasonable thing to do. But it didn’t work and they lost all the capital they had built up over the years.
Under the stress her bipolar disorder flared. He couldn’t cope and started to beat her up. They separated and each took a rented place and shared custody of the children. He got adequate work and is able to support his lifestyle. She, with her mental health issues has had ongoing problems with employment.
Now the friend has been away from teaching for so long she cannot get back into it for various reasons relating to registration and the local teaching culture. While the economy was good she was able to get work. Now it is tightening the work she used to get is no longer there. The government support only pays $10 a week more than the cost of her rent in one of the lowest cost suburbs so she is not paying her utility bills.
It is only a matter of time before she has the power and water turned off and then is thrown out of her place for not paying rent (she is still paying it at the moment, but only just).
The stress is making her mental health condition much worse than it need be. She is difficult to tolerate for more than one day at a time, given her personality issues that she has been working hard on for years. There is no way my daughter wants to have her friend living with her but the friend’s father refuses to have her also and there is no other accommodation for low income families.
Now when the inevitable happens and this friend and her two young children are turned out of the house what is going to happen? She will turn up next door at my daughters place as her father is so unpleasant towards her.
We have already had a conversation about it and my daughter is prepared to put her up on a one day a week basis for a limited time. Then she will be hard hearted and send her around to her father’s place to sleep in the car outside his place if he won’t let them in. She has turned this friend away before when the demand was too great so I think this will be possible.
This is just the first step to things being difficult for so many. Apparently we have around thirty families in our immediate community who are living like this and who have to seek public assistance to eat.
Part of me wants to be angry and blame them for getting into this mess in the first place through making bad decisions. Part of me is very aware that when jobs are difficult to get, and “appropriate care” for children costs what this mother could get for working.
As a society we no longer support such parents though we find money to remove the children and put them into foster care, often in circumstances worse than they would be with a mother with mental health issues who is working. The court awarded custody to the father at weekends as he was “working”. So was she and she had to pay for child care so she could bring in enough to feed them and provide a bed, a shower and toilet during her days of care.
This is not yet a SHTF scenario, but it will be shortly as it already is for the 30 odd local families in this situation.
And as a society we have to live with the consequences of having children poorly fed and without housing. I don’t know where they go and I don’t want to know (yes, I know being ostrich-like with my head in the sand is not a good idea). I just know that as the economy worsens and as people with poor health no longer have social support that things will get more and more dire for so many.
I have made a decision that with so many poor people the best I can do is not to be one of them, using up the limited resources that are there. My husband and I have to pay off our mortgage and support our daughter and her two children who live next door.
I’m here to make it easy for her to work at a reasonably well paid job by being the “slack in the system” providing child care when it is needed, looking after them when they are sick and helping out when things get difficult so she is able to continue to work. My husband was only five minutes away when someone smashed into our daughter’s car and he was able to support her to do all the things that needed to be done.
We could also help to get her to the train station and back again while the insurance people took their time about paying out so she could get another car. Her work and hence her income was unaffected. Family resources made life much more manageable in a difficult week.
Frankly we don’t have the time, energy or resources to help every family in dire need in the community. By having strong bonds we can, however support our own family and make sure we are prepared for what is coming.
I feel torn that we cannot help this woman more. But we have to realistic and I think the friend will appreciate boundaries early on in the situation so she can have ongoing support. She is not unaware, having done a lot of personal work and she knows that the most that people can manage to have her around is about three days.
I think she would appreciate having one day a week in a house with toilet and shower rather than four days and then be chucked out forever. But what when this is not an isolated incident, albeit number 31 in our district? What when the numbers and suffering become so great that something has to give and these people stop being reasonably polite?
Oh, Harriet…I wish I knew something to say that would be truly useful to help this woman of whom you speak. Alas, such wisdom escapes me at the moment!
One thought: travel trailers, or, recreational vehicles are a cheap way to live. Is it possible for someone to help her get an older tt or rv that is safe she can live out of? Pay rent to an rv park somewhere? It’s usually a lot cheaper than rent for an apt., house, etc., at least, on this side of the big pond. They also don’t require much in housekeeping, so, that might be a good thing for her right now.
I am wondering, though…how would this woman respond to growing some things, even just a few things, even in just containers? Some veggies and herbs that would not only make her feel that she had accomplished something on her own, but also provide a little bit of extra food and perhaps even “natural medicinals”. If she has been a teacher, clearly she is willing to learn. I wonder if she would immerse herself in a book on herbals while she grows a few? Or veggies? Or, both?
So many of these folks would at least be a little better off if they just had a few self-sustaining skills of their own, starting with gardening, even on a small scale. Even children can garden. My grandparents taught me as a young child. I cherish to this day the time spent digging through the dirt with them.
If someone would begin to teach some of these folks a few simple self-sustaining skills, I wonder, would that leave them feeling “empowered”? Maybe even, “I wonder what else I could do?”.
Oh, I know…some people don’t want to “do” anything; they just want to be taken care of so they can waste their lives their own way (drugs, mindless t.v., party life, etc.); I call those “entitlement people”, and we have more than enough of such here, thanks to a perfect storm of bad decisions from the gubment. Still, I wonder…
But your point is correct: Will it really be that easy to turn them away? I say it won’t be easy. But will I do it? I hope so. My time to try to “save them” is now, and that is why I teach what I know, however sufficient or lacking that may be.
I already know there are some who do the “bobble-head” when I talk with them about what they could be doing, should be doing, and even how to do it, knowing full well they are not going to do it, and will probably be the first on my doorstep when IHTF. I have even had some come right out and say, “I’m just comin’ to your house!”. They all get the same answer, “No, you are not! I will not be there, and neither will what you’re after”. Of course, many will be sheltering in place, so, that’s a whole different scenario, isn’t it?
Tough one, Harriet; but I think when push comes to shove, we will all do what we have to do to care for our own families first. Because the zombies are coming, and it will be a hoard! And once you care for one, especially one not in right mind already, word WILL get out, and your days (family) of survival have just been exponentially shortened.
Yes, the zombies are coming. Stack it high!
Servantheart, thanks for your compassion.
Rent at RV parks here are more than the cost of renting a house – about $600 a week compared to $400 a week for a small house in a poor suburb.
There is no easy way out for this lady. She is doing her best and has been able to get occasional weekend work which has allowed her to pay at least one utility bill.
WOW!! that’s a huge difference in cost between continents.
When I had to live in an RV park (2001) I paid $45US a week – It is now up to about $70/week. I now live in about the cheapest “non-crackhouse” rental unit in the same general area, and pay $725US / month. A very good friend bought a used mobile home for $5kUS, and rents a spot for $400US a month. Very different economic models. Something to think about.
Mental Health issues in the US are becoming worse everyday. I work with veterans who have many issues, but resources are limited and slow coming. There is no magic pill for PTSD, and most of them cannot cope with family, friends, or a job. They live on the street, or hide from the police in the limited woods surrounding our city. Unshaven and Unclean makes it even harder for them to be approached or find seasonal work. Males have it the worse. Females with children seem to fare better as kind community folks will try to assist them. Our newspaper ran a story of a gentleman who broke out a window with a brick to get the police summoned. They gave him a ticket, and as they were getting ready to drive off, he broke another window. They arrested him and he is happily in jail now getting 3 squares a day, clean clothes, and bed. Is this what we must degenerate to? We send Billions to foreign lands to teach literacy to people who hate us, but we can’t take care of our own at home. We shoot stray dogs who enter our pastures, so to protect our livestock. This may become our only solution for the population in a SHTF scenario.
As someone who has come through the other side of PTSD my heart goes out to veterans who suffer from it. We send them off to war, then they are ostracised, patronised, controlled and confined by the life circumstances we sent them into. I was fortunate to find a way through and was able to dump the medical industry that contributed to my ongoing problems.
But any mental health problem gets in the way of good self management. Housing is a huge problem especially in high rent places.
I work a lot with vets. I get so angry at the VA – the very people whose job it is to help the vets are one big beaucratic mess.
The problem began when Nam vets came home with their eyes open. They had figured out that they had been sent as cannon fodder into a no win situation by people running the government from behind the scenes. This is very dangerous for those people – someone who is smart and trained. Ever since then “they” have been slowly, methodically compromising our returning vets.
I have a real soft spot for vets, not so much because they served “our country” but because they have been the most deceived, abused and discarded of us by people with devious plans.
Now they are doing psychological evaluations on all vets in an attempt to qualify them as “mentally unstable” so they can’t own firearms. It’s another no win situation because they ask questions like “when did you quit beating your wife?” that PROVE you are insane no matter how you answer the question and even worse if you refuse to participate in the charade.
“I’ll just come to your house!” Yes, I’ve heard it too when I’ve talked with family members about preparedness. It is very difficult to even consider what I would do if I had to. The reality is that they are young and productive, and I am old and crippled up. Who is more likely, ultimately, to rebuild after the fall?
That said, I have a phenomenal amount of practical knowledge and survival experience. I’m an “out of the box” thinker, so I do have some value.
Could I actually turn a family member away who was in need of help? Or even turn away the family across the street? I don’t think so–that is just my personal reality.
Bev
Bev, I was always intrigued by stories I heard about horrible Victorian landladies who would rent out rooms and beds and then throw the people out on the streets at 8am and they wouldn’t be allowed back until 6pm (after work). But now I can understand better. It was probably the only way they could stay sane if they had odd, sometimes very odd strangers living under their roof.
It may be that we will have to be that harsh with those who decide to come and live with us under difficult circumstances. Along with priorities we will have to set very strong boundaries to stop the invasion of our space and our lives. Maybe our house will not be their new home, but a very stop gap bed and bathroom place with tea and toast for breakfast and soup for tea made from scraps. And when they come back at night they will need to bring something to burn for heat.
Bev, start reading fictional prepping books – One Second After would be one that I can suggest. It’s fiction, but it start you thinking about what you would do. Maybe you can find things to do now to build a supportive community where you can contribute your skills and the young men with strong backs can contribute hard work.
The decision has to be made on a case by case basis, depending on what they can contribute and their attitude.
In my book, I don’t mind helping those who intend to help themselves. On the other hand, there are always those that want help with no intention of helping themselves.
In my plans I have included extras for helping others that fit into the first category. I have nothing for those in the second category.
I have a sister that won’t work, and has a list of excuses why. She has bugged other family members so much for money, that almost none will talk to her anymore. It is a sad example of someone who won’t help themselves. Unfortunately, the world has many that way, and fewer of the others that will help themselves.
John, I agree that people who won’t help themselves and who expect handouts are really annoying, but they have learned that they get the best results by being helpless. In those cases the best help we can give is none so perhaps they will learn to become more responsible.
But I also think we need a range of assistance for people, help when and where it will make a real difference, but not to keep them where they are. We also have to be able to say, I can help here, but not there. There are, of course, no easy answers.
I think if IHTF most people will be shell shocked. They just need a helping hand and they’ll be productive quickly provided someone can provide leadership. It’s the leadership void that I most worry about.
It doesn’t have to HTF very hard at all for many to be affected. In fact life can be normal for the vast majority of the people. However if 10% end up out on the streets and without showers, washing facilities, etc that would be enough to impact strongly on the rest of us.
Tough questions…and the questions will only get more difficult. In our town, it’s a well known fact that the vagrants (homeless…whatever one decides to call them) have written graffiti on the underpasses to let each other know where to go for free stuff. As for family, we know a family who has an adult child that isn’t able two work but will pay their rent & food and then spend the rest on just junk & pleasurable stuff. Keeping our mouth shut is important, they’ll turn to the government first, then the churches, then family, then…wherever they can find somebody they can take from.
Agreed, and lets be supportive of the steps people are taking to get things right, even the tiny steps we think should be self-evident. If it is new to that person/family we need to support them emotionally as they start to become self responsible. For someone who has never been that way its a huge task to go from being helpless and hopeless to taking charge of their lives.
WE2, I agree. That’s when I’m happy to have Mr. Smith and Mr. Wesson as my friends.
I have been attempting to set up the beginnings of a ‘network’ of ‘younger’ people (dang near everybody qualifies as younger) who might be trustworthy to have around in a bug-out/bug-in situation, with limited information revealed. I know my daughter is all in, and I’m glad. The jury is still out on my stepson, but I lent some books to one of his friends, and that friend is definitely willing and happy to learn. I seriously regret that my former next-door neighbor had to leave town “with no forwarding address” because of family-related stalking issues – she was an avid LDS-prepper and an OR nurse. My boss and I talk about preps openly. I’d be happy to have him on the team. A few other friends are receptive to the subtle “why not pick up some extra rice and beans, just in case” suggestions. We’ll see what happens.
I realize that I’m too old to even think about a ‘lone wolf in a lean-to’ situation. Just have to pick the right set of friends to trust.
The others can get a yogurt-container of dried beans (I DO like that idea – thanks :) ) and get wished the best of luck.
I like your idea of building a network of younger people and I’m trying to do the same. This takes a lot of time and energy, as the development of all relationships do. I had to smile at one young family. The father is an avid survivalist and thinks everything will be fine when he takes his wife and two babies out into the bush. He doesn’t need to take anything other than his weapon as he will be able to shoot everything they need! Sorry but a weekend of survival training does not a survivalist make. However their heart is in the right place and they are moving in the right direction.
My daughter is somewhat aware but only at an early stage.
Wyz – this is excellent. With weather getting better, you might plan a hiking or campling trip – nothing too far or too wild, just get away from modern conveniences and let discussion go where it may. Also, look into your county Emergency Management Office about CERT and other emergency preparedness classes. Where there are classes there are people who want to learn.
How nice to have the friend in your corner to teach your stepson, often times kids pay more attention to what their friends think than their parents. If the friend respects your knowledge, the kid will usually start paying attention, too.
Years and years ago when my first husband and I got married, we lived in a cabover camper, sat on the ground, for the entire summer next to his parent’s house. Since they didn’t have running water, we all just went to the local park and showered once a week. The outhouse was standard back then.
I have an acquaintance who lived in an old RV for years parked by a person’s home.
Now he lives in a little camper trailer next to someone’s elses home with an electrical cord to tie him to electric and a garden hose in the summer for water. He wrapped the camper in plastic wrap to make it water proof and to add more insulation.
He does yard chores, etc. to pay for his use of electric and water.
I’ve known many people who have lived in teepees, even during the winter. Had one myself for a number of years. Tents are not much different.
Years ago when I would take in battered women with their children I was amazed at how resourceful some of these gals were living out of their cars, moving them constantly, showering at campgrounds, lanterns, campfire cooking, wild edibles, taking the kids to school, etc.
And really, you can make a nice small house out of pallets and a tarp!
The key to most of this is someone either being kind enough to trade a bit of their backyard for whatever work that person can do OR turning a blind eye to squatters.
Henry David Thoreau, one of my favorite authors, spent a couple of years in the woods as self-sufficient as a man can be. BUT he was squatting on a friend’s land with permission! He didn’t buy it and pay taxes, etc. He just squatted! And when he had proved whatever to himself, he went back to town.
It sounds like your climate is very warm. All your daughter’s friend may need to get back on her feet is a tent or camper, simple camping gear, access to water for a camp shower and cooking and a place to park it out of the way.
Often there are older folks who wouldn’t mind having someone around in the back yard or on the “back forty” especially if they can pitch in on some duties.
I have found churches to be very uncharitable, they tend to throw some money at a problem, but don’t care about the people, but maybe it is different there in Australia and a church would let her park a camper on their grounds.
I believe in a hand up, not a hand out. She appears to be trying against stacked odds. Also, without all the stress of trying to make everything meet at current societal standards, maybe some time off on an extended camping trip or frame it as a non-materialistic alternative lifestyle could bring her a peace she hasn’t known before.
I can’t keep up with the Joneses and I don’t try. But I got more done when I couldn’t afford a TV and didn’t have electricity and I had to haul all the water into the house and treat it, and had to cut wood to keep warm. Just saying that you don’t Need all those things, nice, but you can do without. If this gal had a tent, a little plot of ground, access to water, and she could attempt some square foot gardening her emotions may start healing.
But what do I know…
Bev :)
Sadly, Bev, we don’t have little patches of ground where people can squat here. There are even laws about children staying overnight in a tent in their own back yard in some places. And it isn’t safe to put up a tent on public land. Rangers go around making campers in RVs or tents move on. If they don’t find them then the gangs of youths may well. I’d prefer the rangers as they don’t beat people up. The gangs of youths think its sport to leave someone unconscious.
And gardening is very expensive in that the sand repels water and needs a huge amount of bought in mulche or compost plus nutrients. It costs me as much to grow my own food than it does to buy it and I have experience.
I am sure that there are lots of very resourceful people out there. I just don’t know what they do or how they do it. It certainly isn’t easy, nor safe.
Harriet, Check out Growfood.com. The website features the Mittleider Growing System of gardening. It is designed for people with no or poor soil. No mulch or organic material needed.
In this modern new century, you would think there was one Country or even one State that had a solution to the Homeless epidemic we all suffer from. I remember my grandparents telling us about the hard times during the Great Depression. Neighbors helped neighbors and everyone was a Survivalist. Grandpa worked for a $1 a day building the Seguin Courthouse. Grandma sold/traded fresh vegetables and fruits in the summer, and did Pecans in the Fall. I never considered them wealthy or even well off, but they reminded us of how proud they were of us and that everything would get better. I see our great Country suffering under the current and past leaders and can only fathom what darkness lies ahead. They tell us we are the greatest Power on earth, but we can’t stop a country smaller than Florida from making us tremble. I feel sorry that Australia has banned guns and now gangs with Bats, Chains, and knives have taken over. Maybe they should hire some mercenaries or vigilantes to help clean up their cities. Who am I too preach, we can’t even stop our Murders in Chicago. I pray that God gets fed up and sends the Angels. I want to go to Heaven, just not right now….
During the Great Depression we were still a moral people. We were a homogenous people until the effects of the 1965 Immigration Act. Now, we are a house divided and more concerned with ‘stuff’ than people.
How many of the murders in Chicago are gang members killing each other?
Amen, Pam!
Whenever someone says, “I’ll just come to your house.” My husband says, “Please, (fill in the name), DON’T make me shoot you.”
As far as the young woman in your scenario, Harriet, I would suggest minimal assistance at arms length. Even the short time she spends at your daughters house should be lessened and the friendship should be allowed to wilt. I know this sounds cold but my concern is for you and your daughter.
We extended help to a young man with mental challenges. We gave him work, a place to live, food and helped him buy a car. He had overcome a speech impediment and was becoming quite confident in himself and competent as an employee. His sister had a peculiar ‘power’ over him and the night he learned she was coming to visit, he murdered the neighbor lady. The family of the deceased cleaned the house and hauled a bunch of stuff out, leaving no evidence for authorities. He was acquitted and went to live near his sister. She decided that living with us was the reason her brother did this and attempted to sue us. The day she drug him to the lawyer to file suit he murdered her neighbor. He is in prison for life.
If something weird is going to happen, it will happen to us … we are Irish, therefore related to Murphy somehow.
My 15 years in medicine taught me just a little about bipolar disorders. When a person is up they are happy, confident, the life of the party. When they are down they are depressed, depressing, lethargic, get a victim attitude, are quick to anger, unpredictable and sometimes suicidal or violent or both. AND they can snap in a second.
I wonder what her father’s reasons are for not caring for his daughter. Is he selfish and uncaring, exercising ‘tough love’ or does he recognize she is dangerous?
Too many people become victims out of the goodness of their hearts. You are right, this isn’t even an IHTF situation. In THAT worse case, I assume your daughter would end up in your house for economic and safety reasons. Do you want this girl under YOUR roof when it has already been evidenced how she deals with stress?
My daughter periodically distances herself from this friend but she is nice most of the time, as long as you don’t have to live with her. She isn’t violent, but she seems to have a target on her back that makes others, normally not violent in public, to attack her. I have some reservations about the amount of time they spend together but at the moment it is lessened as daughter is working full time and studying at university in the evening, so the friends presence is much less.
And no, daughter won’t be coming in with us as long as we are all working. She lives right next door where we can live our own lives quietly, but being supportive when needed and mildly sociable with each other. Under no circumstances would her friend stay with us. Never.
Call me cold hearted and calloused – but seriously, I have no problem turning someone away. And when I start to get weak I read the Good Book – He who dothe not work, dothe not eat. Or, I watch the NatGeo TV channel – The lion gets up in the morning looking for prey and the gizelle gets up working to not be prey -that’s also survival by God’s rules.
For the past 2 years, family members have received emergency food, prepping books, EDC and BOB items from me for Christmas and Birthdays. It wasn’t what they wanted, but it’s what I wanted to give them. I have cared for them – I have paid it forward.
My best friend is a victim. She has more ailments than I can list and even more in her head that she thinks she suffers from. At 45 years old, she is 100 lbs overweight, diabetic and with a heart condition. She still smokes 3 packs a day. Her bedside table looks like a pharmacy. She doesn’t work, depending on disability, yet she is not disabled – simply unhealthy.
I don’t know where she gets the money to buy cigarettes but I’m certain that money would be better spent on emergency food. I even tried to get her to fill 2-liter pop bottles with fresh water to store – she won’t do that (too much trouble).
There is nothing that I can do to change her – I’ve tried. I accept that. I also accept that she will die if IHTF or any situation where she has to walk more than 100 yards. The way I see it, this was her choice. I have told her so.
Some people do not have a choice, mental conditions or physical ailments were simply bad luck in the genetic gene pool draw. As for them, I take comfort in knowing that I have given a great deal of charity to the Red Cross, local church, Goodwill, FoodBank and others. I’ve paid it forward so I don’t have to feel guilty about not sharing when I can’t afford to share.
I have also started teaching a preparedness class. This is the beginnings of my little community of like-minded, skilled and alert people who have started to bond. Classes are free. I have invited close friends and family. Only a few attend.
Go over to YouTube and search for ThePatriotNurse, Who Will Die First in a SHTF Scenario. It’s an eye opener. Prepare yourself mentally and emotionally.
I am becoming more cold hearted about it all. I prep for us and our family. Period. I’m training to be a first responder and do charitable and volunteer work. I recognise that being a first responder will only be a drop in the bucket. I can only do what I can do and that will have to be good enough and before God it will be enough.
I think if we ever get to the stage where people are dying in large numbers, like during the 1918 flu epidemic our society will become totally devastated and traumatised. I hope it never happens. But if it is I’ll be better prepared than most, not as prepared as some. We do definitely need mental and emotional preparation for such an event.
We’ve spent decades increasing rules and regulations about how we can live. If you attempt to think for yourself, someone will come along and squash you because you don’t have the right government authority to do that or you broke the rules about what’s considered “normal.”
That leads to a younger generation that isn’t willing to do for themselves because they’re already accustomed to being told that they can’t live in homes without running water, electricity, or central heat. They can’t build a fence, pool, or shed on their own property without getting official plans approved by the local board, and then the completed project needs to pass an inspection. Private communities will dictate what flowers they plant and whether they can hang a flag. They have to have separate bedrooms for every kid or the child-welfare authorities will cry “neglect.” They need laptop computers for schoolwork. They need cell phones and Facebook pages to get a job. They can’t drive an older car because it won’t pass increasingly-restrictive annual inspections. They no longer live at home until they’re married because they have to get out of the house when they turn 18, even if they’re unemployed or uneducated. After all, they can sign up for Welfare.
Living simply is no longer acceptable, so you stand out when you’re “different.” No one wants to be the child on the playground that everyone points their fingers at, so they work to blend in, and that involves expecting handouts when times are tough. We’re in a downward spiral, and there’s no way to reverse that trend until we acknowledge the fact that people don’t have the “right” to do anything but work to better themselves and their situation, and sometimes that involves living in less-than-stellar conditions for a while. In our attempt to save people from hardship, all we’ve done is force them into continued poverty.
You are so right! Who would ever imagine “humble” is against the law? I think an important thing to realize here is that WE have not done this, THEY have. THEY have been doing the programming through changes in public education and through TV, radio and written “programs”.
Harriet, I agree with you. We must take care of our immediate family. My husband refers to THE CLAN, those who will contribute and can be trusted. It is a hard call as who can be part of The CLAN. We have family meetings with our sons and daughter-in-law to discuss ( They are part of the clan) to discuss what we will do when those in need come knocking. Many of our neighbors and extended family live quite extravagantly, always going out to eat, charging fancy vacations they can’t afford, etc. Needless to say these families have very little food in their homes and no backup plan. We have purchased extra cases of ramen noodles and other items we get on sale cheaply, just for these unprepared. I know it’s not much, but is better than nothing. There is no easy answer for this difficult topic.
My kids know I prep. The rest of my family doesnt but this thread has made me realize this is a conversation we need to have. I would not hesitate to “ditch” this woman with some basics. I have elderly neighbors that I watch out for and even tho they have health conditions I would still continue to look out for them, either until their families came for them or until the inevitable. But you have to ‘cut and run’ at some point, and if you identify someone as a ‘sucker’, you can’t afford to have them on your ‘team’. How do you identify ‘suckers’ down the road, though?
Good question! The Good Book says, “You will know them by their works.” but sometimes you have to watch somebody for years before they actually show their true colors. The best time to evaluate is when they are in adversity.