“My Coats of Many Sizes”…
Reading the wonderful testimonies of how God has met the spiritual needs of many SCP’s I felt compelled to share also…especially after reading Bev’s lovely “place” with God.
Getting married at the age of 19, I put on very small sized coat, perhaps a 2?
Having my first child at barely 21, I put on another coat, just a bit larger, perhaps a 3?
Finding out my husband was meaner than a junkyard dog & a drinker; I put on a larger coat…get the picture?
Having a 2nd child at just over 23, I put on another sized coat.
Staying married for over 40 years, I put on many, many other sizes of coats…perhaps all the way to a 20?
Then he developed a brain tumor, I put on another, larger coat.
Caring for him for over 25 years, I put on another, larger coat.
Then he passed away…and I put on a coat that was so big and heavy I could hardly move, let alone walk or function. The grief was so enormous & I was terrified of the world I found myself in.
I knew the Lord as my Savior and I knew He had me in His hand, and I knew my name was written in His palm with permanent ink…but I was still so bound up with all these “coats” that I had accumulated in life.
Then one summer evening I met a wonderful man at a ballroom where my mother and I had just started to go to, to get me out of the house, and he had come to learn to waltz, and the proprietor paired us up as partners.
Little did the proprietor know that God was partnering us up! But, I still felt some grief and some guilt. and I didn’t understand. One afternoon, I left work and found myself at the grave site, in the rain, crying like a baby because I faced the fact that I had stepped from the role of a wife into the role of a caregiver and that all those coats of many sizes were now wet and just about ready to smother me…spiritually, mentally and emotionally.
But God gave me a revelation that afternoon, standing at the gravesite, and it set me free to love again. God took off that last heavy, wet coat and then used this wonderful man He had placed in my life, to begin to remove the coats. Coat after coat after coat. Now God, myself and my husband I’m removing coats consistently and not allowing others to put them back on me. I am not a clothes rack for other people to hang their stuff on. I love God, He’s my first layer of warmth and protection and not heavy at all. Then I love my husband, and he is my 2nd layer of warmth and protection and just feels plain good to have on. Then I have my family and friends…but they’re not worn all at once and I can remove them when they get too heavy, too soggy or just too small for me.
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